Did you ever think parents would have to worry about this

Dear Amy: My teenage daughter has a close friend named “Edward.” Edward used to be a girl and began transitioning to male last year. Their circle of friends has been intact for years, and they have all been very supportive of Edward.

We are planning a slumber party for my daughter’s upcoming birthday. She would like to invite six girls plus Edward to spend the night. Normally, there would be no way that I’d allow a boy to spend the night, but this situation is very different.

I don’t want to exclude or hurt Edward. I just don’t know what is appropriate.

If we do invite him, must we tell the other parents that there will be a boy (although he’s biologically a girl) spending the night? I want to act with compassion but still be prudent and responsible. Please advise?

Teen’s Mom

Teen’s Mom: I think that (almost no matter the question concerning your child’s plans) if you are worrying about telling other parents, or wondering whether to tell parents, then you should probably tell the parents.

I shared your question with Shannon Garcia, director of TransYouth Family Allies (Imatyfa.org). She responded, “Often times, the topic of gender identity is a touchy one. People don’t know what to say or how to act in situations that differ from societal expectations. The best policy is to acknowledge everyone with equal dignity and respect.”

( Billy’s thoughts – I would not have turned to the person Amy asked for input on this matter. You can read the full answer here. My question/thought is would you have a boy to sleep over for girls, or a girl to sleep over for boys. No matter what, it is sad parents, along with their children are facing this. )

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