Dear Amy: When two people first meet and the guy wants to have sex, why is it that many women say, “I am not that kind of girl, and I need to get to know you better”?That is actually a big lie that women tell. After all, if the guy who wanted to have sex with them was George Clooney, it’s unthinkable that they would say to him, “I’m not that kind of girl.”
Every woman is “that kind of girl” with a select few men under the right circumstances. When women say this, what they actually mean is, “I am not that kind of girl with you.”
Why can’t they just say the following: “I have enjoyed our evening, and, although I appreciate your sexual attraction toward me, I do not feel the same way; however, I wish you well in your future endeavors.”
What is wrong with saying something as honest and as heartfelt as that?
I call women on this all the time on dates, and they are speechless, because they know I have caught them in a lie. Suffice to say, I have no interest in a second date, and I move on.
I find this line of thinking disingenuous. Any thoughts?
– Sam from Los Angeles, CA
Dear Sam: If you approached this with more respectful humility and less angry swagger, you might – just possibly – get lucky. Maybe that’s how George Clooney does it.
( Billy’s thoughts – Read the rest of the answer Amy Dickinson gives to this writer who doesn’t understand women, or values at Ask Amy. )